As I'm writing this column, it's almost the end of September, and that means that in the United States, all the various networks are rolling out the new fall seasons. What that means, of course, is that we've got a handful of new series that are good and will get cancelled because no one watches them, some new series which are bad and that thankfully get cancelled just as fast, and a handful of shows that make you stupid by watching them, which means they'll survive. Oh, and approximately 43 new hours (per week) of reality shows, documentaries, game shows, and home-fixer-uppers.

So in order to help everyone fully comprehend what's scheduled for publication this December (because I don't know about you, but this is certainly the time that I find myself planning my entire holiday shopping list... well, maybe not...), I'll try and relate as many of these books as I can to what sort of show they'd be on the fall schedule. The fact that this is the most underwhelming set of solicitations I've seen in a long time and I'm trying to keep my interest up has nothing to do with this decision, honest.

AMAZE INK (SLAVE LABOR GRAPHICS)

BIFF! BAM! POW! #1 by Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer
OCT042324, p220, $3.95

A new Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer anthology sounds just too good to be true. Both creators have a wonderful sense of how not only comedy works, but action adventure as well. The end result is a great synthesis of the two genres, with features like 'Kid Blastoff', as Blastoff and his friends go in search of adventure but just sort of find silly stuff instead. With three full-color stories, BIFF! BAM! POW! promises to be just good old plain fun. (Now I'm desperate for a newspaper headline that states, "Biff! Bam! Pow! Comics Get Fun With BIFF! BAM! POW!")

TV Show: Has anyone else noticed that FOX is now showing ONE PIECE (Pirates! Swords! Adventure!) and SHAMAN KING (Ghosts! Fights! Er... more swords!) on Saturday mornings? Add a third good show in to that mix and we've got our analogy.

ARCADE COMICS

YOUNGBLOOD: IMPERIAL #2 by Robert Kirkman and Marat Mychaels
OCT04 2396, p228, $2.99

Why? No, seriously, why? I can understand why people were really curious to see YOUNGBLOOD: BLOODSPORT... the idea of Mark Millar writing a story drawn by Rob Liefeld sounded like such a disaster waiting to be happen, with each feeding off the other's excesses, that I'll admit that even I wanted to see the end result. And for whatever reason, Liefeld does have his fans and the idea of him coming back to YOUNGBLOOD was also certainly a big lure. But is this really a series where the characters have enough fans that people want to see other creators' takes on them? I don't think that's been true since the mid-to-late-'90s. I hope Robert Kirkman and Marat Mychaels are getting paid up front, and a lot.

TV Show: JOANIE LOVES CHACHI, because really, who cares about these characters? No one, that's who.

COMICSONE.COM

IRON WOK JAN GN #11 by Shinji Saijyo
OCT042543, p253, $9.95

I think every tenth mention of IRON WOK JAN on Google is me blathering on about how great the book is, but apparently that won't stop me from pointing it out again. Yes, it's about chefs, and cooking, and competitions. But who cares? If you want, you can pretend that they're all secretly superheroes and instead of making food, they're making dimensional stabilizers that will root themselves into reality while their foes are sucked off to another universe. The thing to remember is that it's tense, it's exciting, and you'll have a desperate need to eat Chinese food after reading each volume.

TV Show: I'm going for the obvious one here and saying IRON CHEF, naturally.

DARK HORSE

CONCRETE: HUMAN DILEMMA #1 by Paul Chadwick
OCT040013, p17, $3.50

Has it really been six years since the last CONCRETE mini-series from Paul Chadwick? It feels hard to believe; reading CONCRETE was one of the cornerstones of my introduction into independent comics and it's fantastic to see it return. At a glance, CONCRETE's about speechwriter Ron Lithgow who had his brain implanted into the gigantic stone body of an alien... but it was never really about that. It's about Ron's living his life as a celebrity, about using that fame to try and change the world around him, and a lot of political and social commentary on the world.

You'll have to believe me that CONCRETE is much more exciting than I'm making it sound, but hopefully the combined nine Eisner and Harvey Awards that CONCRETE has received over the years will give you a nudge. CONCRETE: THE HUMAN DILEMMA apparently has something to do with a population control program, but knowing Chadwick it's going to be far more than just that. I'm so very happy to see CONCRETE return, and once you read it, hopefully you'll see why.

TV Show: This is going to sound strange, but SPORTSNIGHT. Great dialogue and characters, and what at a glance might appear to be one thing (a show about sports, a comic about a concrete body) is in fact something entirely different, but for the better.

MEGATOKYO VOL 3 by Fred Gallagher
OCT040040, p32, $9.95

Call it the little webcomic that could. Fred Gallagher's MEGATOKYO is nothing short of a phenomenon in its own right, an online comic about two guys who take a trip to Japan and then don't have enough money to get back home. Gallagher draws MEGATOKYO in a style that while clearly influenced by manga artists, is still uniquely his own. It's really nice and smooth to look at, and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that billions of people flock to MegaTokyo.com on a regular basis to see the new installment. I'm just delighted that there's enough material for a third volume already; sure, I could just read new chapters on the website (and I do check the site on an irregular basis to see what's up), but there's something satisfying about sitting on the couch and just curling up with the latest adventures of Piro and company.

TV Show: I can't think of a single sitcom currently airing that I find even remotely funny. We'll have to go back to the classics, then. Hmmm, an island nation, a cast of lunatics, schemes that seem to forever go wrong... ah yes, clearly the answer is FAWLTY TOWERS.

DC COMICS

DC: THE NEW FRONTIER VOL 1 TP by Darwyn Cooke
OCT040277, p67, $19.95

I've heard a lot of complaints about the fact that DC's decided to collect Darwyn Cooke's THE NEW FRONTIER into two volumes. However, I can see pros and cons to both sides. Yes, from a storytelling aspect it'd be nice to have it all in one big volume, and I'd certainly buy it. At the same time, just this first half of the mini-series clocks in at just over 200 pages. Trying to convince people to blindly buy a 400-page trade paperback might be a bit much, especially since the price would no doubt go up a great deal as well. If releasing it in two volumes means that it's easier to lure sales out of potential readers, which means that more people read it and hopefully Cooke gets a lot of royalties for his work on his ode to DC's Silver Age comics, well... I just can't find myself complaining too much.

TV Show: I'd say that this is just like AMERICAN DREAMS, with its retro look to an earlier time, but THE NEW FRONTIER is actually really good. Maybe the first couple of seasons of THE WONDER YEARS before Olivia D'Abo's character suddenly vanished and all the kids got older and ugly?

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #1 by Mark Waid and Barry Kitson
OCT040295, p78, $2.95

I have no idea what to think about this. I'll admit that I read the Keith Giffen/Tom & Mary Bierbaum LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES and enjoyed it a great deal. (Well, parts of it.) I thought that rebooting the series made sense when ZERO HOUR rolled through DC's books. And since then I've alternated between buying and not-buying the book, depending on whether the creative teams were on or off. But rebooting the series again? (Never mind that it was just retooled about three or four years ago with LEGION LOST and THE LEGION.) It sounds like Mark Waid and Barry Kitson have the best of intentions, I loved their work on EMPIRE, and I thought that the early Waid-written issues of the post-ZERO HOUR revamp of the book were really good. But there comes a point when it just becomes a parody of itself, getting reset over and over again. Why should people invest their time when there's the distinct possibility that the big ol' reset button is going to get hit again? And for that matter, what happens if and when Waid and Kitson leave? (I'm assuming they don't want to write and draw this book for the rest of their lives.) Is the book going to collapse yet again? Enough is enough.

TV Show: It's THE MOLE. A fan-favorite creation, very cleverly done at times, but two seasons of the show being turned into CELEBRITY MOLE has made too many people who were fans of the earlier version of the show run screaming into the hills, afraid of how a great format can get ruined again and again.

GLOBAL FREQUENCY: DETONATION RADIO TP by Warren Ellis and a lot of artists
OCT040340, p98, $14.95

Now this is good timing. The second GLOBAL FREQUENCY collection is poised to hit stores in December, hopefully just a month or two before the WB brings the GLOBAL FREQUENCY TV show onto the air as a midseason replacement. The issue in here drawn by Jason Pearson is really great stuff, and I made sure to buy it as soon shipped (despite deciding to wait for a collection of the series) and sure enough, Ellis's story played to all of Pearson's strengths, letting a twisty and crawly hunter/hunted story unravel across the pages. And I've still got stories drawn by Gene Ha, Lee Bermejo, Tomm Coker, Chris Sprouse, and Simon Bisley waiting for me. Bring it on, baby, bring it on.

TV Show: Why, GLOBAL FREQUENCY. (Geez, that was too easy.)

IDW PUBLISHING

WILL EISNER'S JOHN LAW VOL 1 TP by Will Eisner and Gary Chaloner
OCT042789, p311, $14.99

I've seen some of Gary Chaloner's JOHN LAW strips that he did for ModernTales, and they're nice. Really nice. Chaloner's got a crisp, attractive black and white art style that lends itself to adventure stories told in the style of Will Eisner. I was a little dubious when I first heard that Chaloner was going to write and draw new JOHN LAW strips (although I did quite Chaloner's THE JACKAROO from ages ago), but I think that everyone else is going to end up just as charmed by the end result as I was. (And hey, added bonus: original JOHN LAW stories by Eisner are included as well!)

TV Show: The black and white Steed & Mrs Peel episodes of THE AVENGERS. (If all you've ever seen of THE AVENGERS TV show was that dreadful movie remake, head on over to your favorite DVD rental agency and take a look; A&E released that series as THE AVENGERS '65 and THE AVENGERS '66. Good, good stuff. You'll thank me later.)

IMAGE COMICS

ASCEND GN by Keith Arem, Scott Cuthbertson, and Christopher Shy
OCT041504, p130, $14.95 I've never heard of Keith Arem, Scott Cuthbertson, and Christopher Shy before, but the two pieces of art that are being shown off here in Previews look really nice. It reminds me a bit of Ben Templesmith's art, and that's ultimately a good thing. Image clearly has a lot of confidence in the book, what with giving it one of the covers of the new Previews and all, and the plot description sounds neat. Banished angels drawn to humans about to ascend? I'll give this a whirl.

TV Show: DANGEROUS HOUSEWIVES. It looks really cool but it's going to be either spectacular or dreadful. No inbetweens here at all.

FLAMING CARROT #1 by Bob Burden
OCT041510, p136, $2.95

Bob Burden's FLAMING CARROT is an exercise in insanity, but in the best possible way. It's hard to explain the book, other than it's about a fellow with a gigantic carrot for a head who gets into all sorts of really, really, really strange adventures. We're talking mighty strange, here. It makes me break out into hysterical laughter even as I wonder about Burden's sanity, and marvel that someone clearly nutso can draw such delicate lines in each panel. This is mega-strange.

TV Show: I'm half-tempted to say THE TICK, but I think we know what comic book that really connects with. If you liked WONDERFALLS, though, this book might just be offbeat enough for you.

WILDGUARD: FIRE POWER by Todd Nauck
OCT041540, p158, $3.50

I really liked the WILDGUARD: CASTING CALL mini-series. Todd Nauck took the idea of the reality talent show (like AMERICAN IDOL, for instance) and took it to the next appropriate level, having a superhero team getting formed through a series of auditions. The readers got to play at being Simon Cowell by choosing one of the permanent castmembers as well, and now WILDGUARD is back for their first storyline with the lineup in place. Until an eventual collection of the original mini-series shows up this spring, why not use this one-shot to see what you think?

TV Show: Oh come on, I already told you, it's AMERICAN IDOL (or POP IDOL if you're in Britain). Tragically, while I'd like to be Simon Cowell, I have a nasty feeling that I'm really Paula Abdul.

MARVEL COMICS

ULTIMATES 2 #1 by Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch
OCT041716, pM1, $2.99

On the plus side: hurrah for Mark Millar, Bryan Hitch, and Marvel for stockpiling issues of ULTIMATES 2 before soliciting the book. It's a smart move and one that I applaud, after numerous delays in the second half of the first ULTIMATES mini-series completely and utterly derailed any momentum that once existed. On the minus side: please let ULTIMATES 2 be more like the early issues of the book and less like the later issues, which were just sort of "eh". This could be good, but I fear that, like so many other things that I originally liked, its time has come and gone.

TV Show: I suppose one would have to say THE WEST WING. Like its TV show counterpart, ULTIMATES really went downhill as time went on.

WHAT IF JESSICA JONES HAD JOINED THE AVENGERS? by Brian Bendis and Michael Gaydos
OCT041750, pM36, $2.99

What if no one cared? About this or, quite frankly, any of the other WHAT IF one-shots?

TV Show: Bad commercial for a product that they just won't let die.

MARVEL HOLIDAY SPECIAL TP by various
OCT041797, pM66, $15.99

You know, just for the inclusion of Peter David and Bill Jaaska's 'Hulk vs Rhino, in a department store Santa outfit' storyline, this is almost automatically a must-buy collection. It's easiest one of the funniest things Marvel's ever published, and I'm so glad to hear that they've decided to put it in a collection. The Chris Claremont/John Byrne 'Kitty Pryde vs Aliens' story (their final issue together in X-MEN as it so happens) is pretty fun as well, even if one almost forgets that it's supposed to tie into the holidays. I'm not familiar with the other stories here at all, but damn, is that issue of HULK funny.

TV Show: Did you know they're releasing the PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL on DVD? Best modern holiday special ever. Brilliant. Just brilliant. NBM

LUCIFER'S GARDEN OF VERSES: DEVIL ON FEVER STREET GN VOL 1 by Lance Tooks
OCT042853, p319, $15.95

I must admit that I have no idea what this book is going to be like. None at all. I've heard great things about Lance Tooks's NARCISSA that was published by the blink-and-you'll-miss-it Doubleday Graphic Novels line, but I've never actually read it. Let's see... Satan awakens, and depressed that he's only got seven days to bring Armageddon, decides to get some good old-fashioned temptation in the form of the most virtuous woman on Earth? All right, it's got my attention.

TV Show: It's like holding down the 'favourite channels' button for two minutes with your eyes closed and then just randomly stopping. It could be anything, but you're hoping for a winner.

ONI PRESS

WET MOON: WANDERING COMPANIONLESS GN VOL 1 by Ross Campbell
OCT042880, p322, $14.95

First the downside. The title WET MOON somehow seems awfully icky to me. I'm not sure why, it just sounds sort of... ew. Now for the upside, it's written and drawn by Ross Campbell. I haven't read anything that Campbell wrote so far, but his art in SPOOKED and TOO MUCH HOPELESS SAVAGES was pretty cool, and the phrase "an unseen social assailant" in the solicitation in a story about goths, college, art school, and squirrel monkeys got my attention pretty quickly. Definitely taking a look. If Campbell writes half as good as he draws I think I'll be happy.

TV Show: Hmmmm. Maybe GILMORE GIRLS if they gothed it up a tiny bit?

QUEEN & COUNTRY: DECLASSIFIED VOL 2 #1 by Greg Rucka and Rick Burchett
OCT042882, p322, $2.99

Ooh, ooh, ooh. I do love me some QUEEN & COUNTRY, and getting a second DECLASSIFIED mini-series is music to my ears... doubly so when drawn by Rick Burchett. Greg Rucka's first DECLASSIFIED mini-series did a great job of letting us discover the early life of Paul Crocker, and this exploration of Tom Wallace will hopefully do the same with him. Espionage, mystery, intrigue, British accents (well, you'll have to imagine that bit yourself), and crisp art... what more do you people want?

TV Show: I'm sure Greg Rucka would disapprove if I said anything but THE SANDBAGGERS, but since almost no one's heard of the show, I'll go with a more modern one and say HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET. Critically acclaimed, great cast of characters, really top-notch writing, and a series that more people should tune into with each new instalment.

SKY DOG PRESS

MAJOR DAMAGE GN & DVD VOL 1 by Chris Bailey
OCT042933, p328, $29.95
(or OCT042932 and $14.95 for just the graphic novel)

I walked by Chris Bailey's table at San Diego in 2003 and I was utterly entranced by the still-in-progress MAJOR DAMAGE animation that was running on a loop. I was so entranced that I committed a major convention faux pas and actually stopped dead in my tracks, blocking traffic, in an effort to watch it. (Fortunately I wasn't the only one with this sudden need to see it.) It looks really slick; it reminds me a lot of the sort of work that Pixar's doing these days and in a very good way.

Now that it's done, Bailey's offering both a graphic novel based on the short, and a combination of graphic novel and DVD. What I've seen of the graphic novel is pretty slick in its own right; Bailey's good at drawing comics in addition to animation, and there's a ton of behind-the-scenes and making-of featurettes included to make this package well worth your money.

(While you're at it, the REX STEELE, NAZI SMASHER graphic novel and DVD from Monkeysuit Press on page 318 sounds tempting. I haven't seen any of the animation from the DVD, but the REX STEELE stories in the various issues of the MONKEYSUIT collections were a lot of fun.)

TV Show: I must admit, I have no idea if there are any good cartoons still being domestically produced these days. But if there are, that's what you've got here.

TITAN

CHARLEY'S WAR HC VOL 1 by Pat Mills and Joe Colquhoun
OCT042939, p329, $19.95

CHARLEY'S WAR is one of those 'classic' comics that I've never read. My only consolation is that to the best of my knowledge, the same is also true for most comic readers in North America. Now getting distributed to us poor sods on this side of the Atlantic, CHARLEY'S WAR is about a 16-year old boy who lies about his age to fight in the trenches of World War I. I've got no idea what happens beyond that, and I don't want to know until I read it for myself. With all the raves I've heard about the book over the years (heck, the ad alone has Alan Moore, Garth Ennis, and Dave Gibbons raving about the book, and if that's not a pedigree I'm not sure what is), I think this is very much a must-have.

TV Show: The only war-related series that's leaping to mind that was actually any good was BAND OF BROTHERS, so I'll have to go with that. Based on the praise CHARLEY'S WAR has received, that's probably a pretty accurate guess.

VIZ

SAIKANO GN VOL 3 by Shin Takahashi
OCT043104, p364, $9.95

I was really pleasantly surprised with the first volume of SAIKANO. It's that old classic tale of "boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, girl is secretly the ultimate weapon created by the military that extrudes all sorts of missiles and such at the first hint of war". I think what got me the most was that it's all played very seriously in a situation that other creators would've tried to make funny. The relationship between the two protagonists comes across as really naturalistic, and the art reminds me a bit of Arthur Dela Cruz's work on KISSING CHAOS. I think this is the kind of book that a year or so from now is going to be a cult hit among comic readers.

TV Show: I have a sneaking suspicion that if I turned on Cartoon Network really late at night I might find actual episodes of SAIKANO airing. Otherwise, I'll go with the first season of TWIN PEAKS. Odd, different, quirky, and enthralling. (Then it all went to hell the next year, but boy was that first season fantastic.)

Greg McElhatton writes reviews for iComics.com, and has also written for anthologies, magazines, web sites, and technical manuals.

This article is Ideological Freeware. The author grants permission for its reproduction and redistribution by private individuals on condition that the author and source of the article are clearly shown, no charge is made, and the whole article is reproduced intact, including this notice.