Welcome to The Forecast. Every Monday, Ninth Art's core team of comment writers, the Ninth Eight, will be your guides to the best, worst, weirdest and most noteworthy books on the shelves of your local comic shop.

MR CAMPBELL'S WILD RIDE

If you've ever bought Previews, then you'll know how utterly pointless the solicitations usually are; an exercise in futile fudging and word-counting that tells you as much about a product as reading the Catering Credits tells you about a blockbuster movie. Case in point: WILDSIDERZ #1? Join me, loyal reader, on a journey into solicitation copy.

"The much-anticipated follow-up to DANGER GIRL by the celebrated creative team of fan-favorite artist J Scott Campbell and writer Andy Hartnell is here!"

While I never read DANGER GIRL, I've heard that it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Being a Bond/Charlie's Angels/Hustler spread homage would put it roughly in my ballpark (fnar) of interest. However, Campbell falls into that group of 90s 'hot' artists whose work has fallen out of favour recently (unless twinned with popular writers; Jim Lee, David Finch, etc). Campbell's writing partner, Andy Hartnell, is... well, he's not a fan 'favorite', is he?

"A brand new style of fun and adventure is unleashed as five young friends tap into a radical new technology that transforms and empowers them with animalistic abilities!"

I'm sure there have been an infinite number of characters-empowered-by-animals series in the past, so it's just as well that it's only the "style of fun" that's being described as new. Maybe Campbell and Hartnell have discovered a new form of fun? Joytertainment? Gleetrature?

"But just what will ordinary teenagers do when they take on extraordinary alter-egos?"

Just what will they do? Don costumes and fight evil, mayhap? I'd be more willing to bet they'd go extreme snow-biking whilst listening to Napalm Death on their MePod, but these are your classic 1950s kids - As Seen In All Comics Ever! (TM) Actually, no, these are what people from the 1950s imagine kids are like. Radical! (But only in a prescribed and respectful way) Wicked! (But kind to their friends and moms) Awesome! (Drugs are for thugs and mugs, chums!)

"Will they abuse their newfound powers to climb the high school hierarchy or hone their skills to become the next generation of heroes?"

Well, I know I'd be more willing to see the former option than the latter, but I have a horrible feeling I'm going to be disappointed. Wouldn't you rather see Johnny LionPower tear the heads off a couple of substitutes and threaten his maths teacher with anal scarring if he doesn't pass his mid-term? Wouldn't you rather see Mickey BearStrength whap out his super-todger at a kegger and let the college girls lap his para-wang? However, I imagine lessons will be learnt about truth, honesty and being a hero.

So, what have we learnt? That J Scott Campbell and Andy Hartnell have a new eagerly awaited five-issue mini coming out from WildStorm about five teenagers who get animal powers. That's exactly what we've learnt. That, and reading solicits is for chumps. [John Fellows]

I'M WITH STUPID

Batten down the hatches. We're going to look at the laughably-titled 'Director's Cut' of Joe Quesada's DAREDEVIL: FATHER #1 this week, as it slinks furtively into the back of the class like a truant who's chickened out after the first ten minutes, hoping nobody will remark upon the fact that it wasn't there when the register was being taken.

It's a fury-inducing situation. We're finally going to get the next few issues of this series, with its Miller-pastiche artwork and its Big Event billing, and that's fine. Better (insanely) late than never. But to put the first issue out again with extra material riveted onto the side, in the hope that anyone who actually cares about this project and has bought the first issue will feel compelled to fork out for the reissue, is not so much rubbing salt in the wound as rubbing raw chilli peppers in the wound then adding tequila, salt and citrus fruit while kicking the poor wounded sap in the balls with steel-toed boots. Are we that stupid?

Because, make no mistake about it, people will buy this comic! This is why Marvel puts it out! We're so used to taking this kind of reheated, yesterday's-lunch pabulum that we barely even question it any more. Knowing that there's a certain degree of justified embarrassment to be taken on in the wake of the utterly risible delays this book has had, Marvel has decided to try to soften the blow by giving us a special package "for the fans". The same fans who will be suckered into paying for the same book twice just to get what few crumbs of sketchbook scribbling fall from the EiC's table. If this is a special package, it's one that should be taken away and detonated in a controlled explosion.

If you must buy a stupid comic, then buy STUPID COMICS. Jim Mahfood's funkily-drawn ruminations on everything from love and war to hip hop and having a nice day out in the park arrive at their third issue this week. No pretence, no pretensions. It's cheaper than DAREDEVIL: FATHER, it's prettier than DAREDEVIL: FATHER, it's more rewarding than DAREDEVIL: FATHER.

Buy Mahfood, 'bye Marvel. Anything else is just stupid. [Alistair Kennedy]

GO WEST!

The first 1602 miniseries saw The Merry Marvel Marching Society move to Merrie Olde Engerlandeyi for a tale of time-tossed souls, troubadour spies and transvestite schoolgirls. Written by Neil Gaiman, and with art by Andy Kubert, 1602 was a reasonable curio, a common-or-garden What If/Elseworlds tale with a neat little mystery threaded through it. If you were to go out and buy it, or borrow it from the library, I'm certain that you would enjoy it, if only for the fun of playing 'Spot The Vulture'.

But you know what? As good as it was, 1602 was a slight work. And by the end of the story, we really had reached the end of the story. The central gimmick wore thin pretty quickly, and only one or two characters really deviated from their original template.

Of course, with Neil Gaiman's name attached - and all the copyrights belonging to Marvel - there was never going to be a "THE END" to the story of 1602. So, like the heft of a Christmas bowel movement, a franchised sequel was inevitable.

1602: THE NEW WORLD begins this week, picking up mere days after the original series left off. Marvel's new go-to guy, Greg Pak, is the author. This interview (which also covers HOUSE OF M and PHOENIX: ENDSONG) suggests that Pak saw potential in 1602 that others did not. Focusing on the 1602 versions of Hulk and Spider-Man, NEW WORLD promises to explore the struggles that the migrant marvels face in the turbulent Colonies.

This will, of course, involve drafting a whole new legion of 17th Century marvels, such as Lord Iron, and that old favourite, Sir Norrman D'Uisbourne. Watch out, Guinevere, daughter of George, Lord Stacy, or he'll exercise his bright green droit de seigneur on you!

I almost wish I was joking, but to be brutally honest, this sounds like the same old alternate reality shite, where the only difference between 1602 and the seven or eight other versions of these characters (and their stories) is their Blackadder drag.

To be fair, though, Pak's star is rising, and he's paired with the excellent Greg Tocchini, so maybe they'll be able to do more with the material than a simple retread of other people's work.

But if Sir Norrman ends up impaled on a broomstick, don't come crying to me. [Matthew Craig]

THE SHIPPING LIST FOR AUGUST 3rd 2005:

Shipping details come courtesy of Diamond. Visit the Diamond website for the latest information, as the list is subject to change.

DARK HORSE

JUN050019D SERENITY BRADSTREET CVR #2 (OF 3) $2.99
JUN050018D SERENITY CHEN CVR #2 (OF 3) $2.99
JUN050020D SERENITY QUESADA CVR #2 (OF 3) $2.99
MAY050046 TRIGUN MAXIMUM VOL 6 THE GUNSLINGER TP $9.95

DC COMICS

JUN050353D AQUAMAN #33 $2.50
APR050382D BALLAD OF HALO JONES TP $19.99
JUN050488D BATMAN BRUCE WAYNE FUGITIVE VOL 2 TP (STAR17718) $12.95
JUN050354D BLOOD OF THE DEMON #6 $2.50
JUN050359D DC SPECIAL THE RETURN OF DONNA TROY #3 (OF 4) $2.99
JUN050361D DCS GREATEST IMAGINARY STORIES TP $19.99
JUN050326D DETECTIVE COMICS #809 $2.99
JUN050363D FIRESTORM #16 $2.50
JUN050340D GOTHAM CENTRAL #34 $2.50
JUN050424D INTIMATES #10 $2.99
JUN050374D JSA #76 $2.50
JUN050393D JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #12 $2.25
JUN050396D LOONEY TUNES #129 $2.25
JUN050430D MATADOR #4 (OF 6) $2.99
JUN050447D SANDMAN PRESENTS THESSALY WITCH FOR HIRE TP (MR) $12.99
JUN050382D SON OF VULCAN #3 (OF 6) $2.99
JUN050345D SUPERMAN #220 $2.50
MAY050304 TRIGGER #8 (MR) $2.99
JUN050417D WILDSIDERZ #1 (OF 5) $3.50
JUN050418J WILDSIDERZ #1 LENTICULAR COVER VERSION #1 (OF 5) PI
JUN050451D Y THE LAST MAN #36 (MR) $2.99

IMAGE

JUN051756D SEASON OF THE WITCH #0 $2.50
JUN051814D STUPID COMICS #3 $2.95

MARVEL

JUN052023D AMAZING FANTASY #11 $2.99
APR051882D ARANA HEART OF THE SPIDER #6 $2.99
JUN052073D AVENGERS VISION AND SCARLET WITCH TP $15.99
JUN052001D DAREDEVIL FATHER DIRECTORS CUT #1 $2.99
APR051894D DAREDEVIL REDEMPTION #6 (OF 6) (MR) $2.99
JUN052068D FANTASTIC FOUR FOES TP $16.99
JUN051982D FANTASTIC FOUR HOUSE OF M #2 (OF 3) $2.99
JUN051981D IRON MAN HOUSE OF M #2 (OF 3) $2.99
JUN052009D MARVEL 1602 NEW WORLD #1 (OF 6) $3.50
JUN052059D MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER MAN VOL 1 SINISTER SIX DIGEST $6.99
JUN052027D MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #6 $2.50
JUN052018D MARVEL TEAM-UP #11 $2.99
APR051897D NEW AVENGERS #8 $2.50
JAN058157D NEW AVENGERS ROMITA SR VARIANT #8 $2.50
JUN052005D SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #7 (OF 7) (MR) $3.50
JUN051997D SPIDER-GIRL #89 $2.99
MAY051755 ULTIMATE IRON MAN #3 (OF 5) $2.99
JUN051992D ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #81 $2.50
JUN051978D UNCANNY X-MEN #463 $2.50
JUN052034D X-MEN UNLIMITED #10 $2.99
JUN052065D X-MEN VIGNETTES VOL 2 TP $17.99

OTHER PUBLISHERS

APR052986F A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #16 (A) $4.99
MAY052497E ARCHIE #559 $2.25
MAY052500E ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #163 $3.59
APR053082E ATOMIKA #4 $2.99
JUN052698E BEAR #9 $2.95
MAY052501E BETTY #149 $2.25
APR052761F DEADBEATS #72 $2.50
MAY052774E DONALD DUCK ADVENTURES VOL 13 TP $7.95
APR052937F EYE CANDY MANGA CONVENTION CVR (MR) $10.00
APR052938F EYE CANDY MANGA PX CVR (MR) $14.95
APR052936F EYE CANDY MANGA REG CVR (MR) $6.95
JUN052918E GI JOE AMERICAS ELITE #2 $2.95
JUN052705E HSU AND CHAN #7 (RES) (MR) $2.95
MAY052939E HUNGER #3 (MR) $2.99
JAN053085E INU YASHA VOL 21 TP $8.95
FEB042750E NEON GENESIS EVANGELION VOL 2 2ND ED TP $9.95
MAY052866F PHANTOM #8 $3.50
APR043012E SAIKANO VOL 1 GN $9.95
JUN052786E SOULFIRE DYING OF THE LIGHT #1 $2.99
JUN052789E SOULFIRE DYING OF THE LIGHT SIGNED ED SET #1 $34.99
MAY053049F THE KING GN $19.95
APR052940F WILD CHERRYS TEASE CONVENTION ED (MR) $10.00
APR052941F WILD CHERRYS TEASE PX ED (MR) $14.95
APR052939F WILD CHERRYS TEASE REG ED (MR) $6.95
MAY052885F ZORRO #3 $2.95

The Ninth Eight are Matthew Craig, John Fellows, Kieron Gillen, Alistair Kennedy, Zack Smith, Andrew Wheeler, Ben Wooller and Bulent Yusuf.

This article is Ideological Freeware. The author grants permission for its reproduction and redistribution by private individuals on condition that the author and source of the article are clearly shown, no charge is made, and the whole article is reproduced intact, including this notice.